Should it be different when the perpetrator confesses?

Is this actually a question?

A man has sexual interactions with an underage girl, then confesses to his bishop. He thinks this confession is confidential. However, he just admitted to a felony involving a minor. His bishop appropriately follows the state law and reports the abuse. The man gets arrested and goes to jail, and his wife is understandably upset. She is probably humiliated. She has had her husband taken from her, and their poor children have a father in jail. And, well, it turns out she’s married to a dirtbag. She has all the cause in the world to be upset. 

The Mrs. decides to sue the LDS church for $9.5 million in damages because her husband’s confession was “supposed” to be confidential. Did she miss the part where her husband decided to adulterate with an underage girl??? Again, I can’t imagine how pissed and embarrassed and betrayed I would feel in her position. But, her husband committed a CRIME, and a terrible one at that! He is a sex offender. A pedophile. NOT OK. It sucks. He needs to be held accountable for his actions, and his wife should realize that, as hard as that may be. Justice has to be served, and it doesn’t matter where the confession takes place. It baffles me that just because it involves anything to do with God or religion that would somehow change the circumstances.

A new bill has been proposed in Utah

This proposal would require bishops and other ecclesiastical leaders to report abuse confessed to them by the perpetrator.

Reporting is already required if abuse is disclosed by a victim. But abuse confessed by the abuser is not. My question is, how is mandatory reporting by clergy regardless of who discloses it to them already not a thing?? And how in the hell is anyone actually on the fence about fully backing it? This should pass, no question.

It seems better to err on the side of reporting everyone rather than leave it up to discretion. I would think it would actually make a bishop’s job easier to know there is no way around the law. That takes away any potentially difficult decision to report. According to the church’s website, bishops in Utah currently have a phone number to call for guidance from a church attorney. Uh, what? Why is there an attorney needed? Law broken=crime reported. Especially one involving a minor. Pretty simple.

I have heard arguments that mandatory reporting might make perpetrators less likely to confess. I could see that being true. That still doesn’t make it right. The rationale behind that thinking is flawed. A conditional confession is worthless. If someone would only confess without penalty of being reported on–and therefore no consequence– then what is the difference anyway? Either way they get no punishment. How sincere is a confession when you’re not willing to take the heat for what you have done? Because you have been absolved simply by sharing it with a man of God? Merely admitting your wrongdoing in a bishop’s office or confessional doesn’t rectify your actions with the law or your victim, nor does it discourage you from being a repeat offender. 

A slap on the hand

Since it was recently the holidays, a scene in A Christmas Story came to my mind. Remember when Flick gets his tongue stuck to the flagpole, and Ralphie thinks he is going to get in big trouble? His teacher surprises him by saying:

“…but those who did it know their blame and I’m sure the guilt you feel is far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now don’t you feel terrible? Don’t you feel remorse for what you’ve done? Well, that’s all I’m going to say about poor Flick.”

  The adult Ralphie narrator then says, “Adults always say things like that. Kids know better, we knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.”

It’s a silly analogy to this situation and makes me laugh to imagine this dialog between a bishop and confessor.  A little ridiculous I know, but still…

2020 Sundance film “Church and the Fourth Estate”

In this year’s Sundance film festival, there was a film highlighting a sexual abuse case where a man confessed to abusing 24 boys. Yet his actions were not reported by church officials. The film’s director states: “I think the church has a sort of pattern of covering up this abuse, of not going to authorities when they learn about this stuff, of sending perpetrators to bishops and having bishops have talks with them to determine if they’ve repented, and then sending them back. And that process is very secretive, often kept in secret from the family of the victims.”

This is another awful example of how not reporting these crimes is a cover up which protects and abets the predator. CHURCH DISCIPLINE DOES NOT TAKE THE PLACE OF THE LAW.  These situations cannot be left up to an untrained layman to handle. The consequences of abuse leave damaging scars, they can damage lives forever.  Any victim going unheard is one too many.  It is disgusting for a bishop to be in a position to take the appropriate action to honor and protect the victim, to prevent more in the future, but fail to make the call because there is no requirement to do so. What if the victim was your own child?